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Hey there, people, I'm Sandra
They say I'm the cutest girl in town
My car is fast, my teeth are shiny
I tell all the guys they can kiss my arse.
Here I am at a famous school
I'm dressin' sharp 'n' I'm actin' cool
I got a guy here wants to help with my paper
Let him do all the work 'n' maybe later I will thank him
I do not think I'm too extreme
I'm a good looking bitch (1)(2)
I'm gonna get a good job 'n' be real rich
Women's Liberation came creepin' across the nation
I tell you people I was not ready
When this dyke fucked me by the name of Freddie
She made a little speech then,
Aww, she tried to make me say when
She had balls and a dick
I guess it's still hooked on but now it shoots too quick
But now I smell like Vaseline
An' I'm a miserable son of a bitch
Am I a boy or a lady... I don't know which
Eventually me and a friend
Sorta drifted along into S & M
I can take about an hour on the tower of power
'Long as I gets a little golden shower (1)(2)
Oh God I am the American dream
With a dildo up my arse till it makes me scream
An' I'll do anything to get ahead
I lay awake nights sayin' thank you, Fred
Oh God, oh God, I'm so fantastic!
Thanks to Freddie, I'm a sexual idiot

SFF