Just a reminder, of what an average day for me is like.
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Modern psychiatry has defined Sexual Sadism, generally as: "the derivation of sexual pleasure from the infliction of pain, suffering and/or humiliation, mostly by a male upon a female. The pain and suffering of the victim, which may be both physical and psychological, is pivotal to the sexual arousal and pleasure."
The ICD-10 (World Health Organization, 1992) defines sexual sadism as "preference for sexual activity that involves bondage or infliction of pain and/or humiliation."
The writings of two sexual sadists, graphically convey these desires. One writes: "...the most important radical aim is to make her suffer since there is no greater power over another person than that of inflicting pain. I want to force her to undergo suffering without her being able to defend herself."

"The pleasure in the complete domination over another person is the very essence of the sexual sadist."
The other states: "...she was writhing in pain and I loved it. I was now combining my sexual high of rape and my power high of fear to make a total sum that is now beyond explaining...I was alive for the sole purpose of causing pain and receiving sexual gratification...I was relishing the pain just as much as the sex...."

Inflicting pain is a means to create suffering and to elicit the desired responses of obedience, submission, humiliation, fear, and terror.
In these instances, the offending male shapes the behavior of women into gradual acceptance of progressively deviant sexual acts, and then, through social isolation and repeated abuse, batter their self-images until the women believe they deserve the punishment meted out by their "lovers."

Studies have found that the most common activities sexual sadists indulge in are anal rape,

followed in frequency by gang rape,
forced fellatio,

vaginal rape,
and foreign object penetration. Two-thirds of the men subjected their victims to at least three of these four acts.
Dr. A. Nicholas Groth in his book called Men Who Rape, discussed the mentality of the Sexual Sadist this way: "the sexual sadist is the great white shark. He's the premier predator."

Such men, Groth discovered in a study of thirty sexual sadists, viciously despise women. They're all bitches, whores, and sluts, and it's just a matter of pushing the right buttons to bring this feeling out.

There you have it. A clinical description of who and what I am. Disturbing? It was meant to be.

I welcome your comments.